It dissolves the perception of love in the relationship.įor example, Rachel perceives that it is in her best interests to be fully committed to by a man who is monogamous with her. So, anytime someone acts out of alignment with what we perceive our best interests to be, we make it mean that they don’t love us. Therefore, we feel that someone acting against our best interests is not love. When we love something, we cannot hurt it or act against its best interests without hurting ourselves. Love naturally gives rise to experiences like compassion, closeness, understanding, empathy, caring and appreciation. And regardless of whether this is actually the case or not, we understand on a visceral level that to love something is to take it as a part of us. Most of us feel we have a handle on what our own best interests are. And this pattern is the: ‘If you loved me then x’ pattern. ![]() This pattern is responsible for so many breakups and not only that, it is responsible for why so many relationships end on very bad terms. There is a pattern in relationships that dissolves the perception of love in the relationship.
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